I want.

Ever since I entered the field of Social Work I've been reminded time and time again that I will always work long hours in this field. While they are often flexible, you cannot get away from putting in more than the typical 40 hour work week. The hours are always exhausting and test my patience. Who invented the 40 hr work week? I'm trailing off now...

Anyway, while I eat lunch at my desk I usually find myself blogging and surfing. Not necessarily posting (obviously since my last post was month ago) but what I like to call blog hopping and internet window shopping.

As I go through blogs and different sites, I catch myself thinking I wish I was that creative, I wish I was that funny, I wish I had an eye for decor, I wish I had a house to renovate, I wish I could write like that,I wish I had those boots, I wish, I wish, I wish. I had to stop myself today and immediately post something here. I find myself wanting more all the time. It's so easy to get caught up in the wants of life. I have to stop myself everyday and remember I need to be more than just okay with what I already have. I may not have an eye for design, lofty words, a house to renovate, or artsy pictures to post, but I have many things to be proud of and thankful for. This is not the popular or politically correct statement to make but I know it to be true. I believe we will always be reaching for things we don't have and never be satisfied without Jesus. I believe my life will always be about me until Jesus changes it.

So while I sit here at work, I must admit that my heart is heavy. Heavy because I mess up all the time and lose sight of Him and heavy for the people who don't know Him. I have the incredible opportunity at my job everyday to pour into people and solely focus on them. This has been an incredible lesson because it helps me understand I'm not the center of the universe and people need to know Jesus. My prayer is that I learn to lean into Him more everyday and not rely on myself. I am a selfish person who wants to focus on me. Thankfully, He's not finished with me yet and can change my focus.

"Father break my heart for what breaks Yours. Give me open hands and open doors. Put Your light in my eyes and let me see, that my own little world is not about me"

Sorry if you were expecting pictures of cute puppies or house renovations. But I needed to share.This is my heart exposed. If you want some blogs to follow that are not about how to make your house look better and what to wear this season (which don't get me wrong, are all wonderful kind of blogs and very fun!) you can follow these: http://www.drmatthewrobinson.com/, http://www.bethbutton.tumblr.com/, http://www.jovannagomez.com/, http://www.deaninserra.com/